


Dealing

by kelex



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode Related, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 19:09:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/903817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelex/pseuds/kelex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coping isn't easy after PJ7-989 (spoilers for <i>The Gamekeeper</i>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dealing

Dinner at Merlin's had been Jack's idea this time. The place was brand new, fairly empty for this time of evening, and pushing beer out of the taps like water. He hadn't started drinking yet, but he certainly intended to, just as soon as the rest of the team showed up. 

Teal'c didn't drink, so ideally, that made him designated driver. Only he couldn't drive. Jack shrugged. If it came down to it, Colorado Springs had plenty of taxicabs to go around.

Speak of the Devil. Teal'c came in with Carter and--"Where's Daniel?"

Sam blinked. "What, he isn't here with you?"

Jack gestured around broadly at the empty table. "Sure he is, Carter. What, you don't see him either?"

Teal'c frowned. "It would seem we have been deceived by DanielJackson."

"What? Deceived how?" Jack looked from Teal'c to Carter. "I want answers, children!"

Sam frowned, her expression mirroring Jack's. "He said he had work to finish in the lab, but he'd meet you before we got here."

"Of course he did." Jack gave a bitter, tired chuckle. "And he told me he'd catch a ride with the two of you." A sigh. "I'll go."

Sam looked apprehensive. "Colonel, maybe I should--"

"Oh, can it, Carter." Jack hadn't meant to snap, but he didn't apologize for it. "You and I both know why Daniel isn't here, and I'm gonna go find him and bring him back." 

"Of course, sir," Sam answered, dropping her eyes at the snapped rebuke. "We'll wait for you here."

Jack sighed again. "Go ahead and order. Daniel and I will be back as soon as I drag his ass here."

Sam shook her head again and looked up. "Colonel… with all due respect, you didn't _see_ Daniel. If he wants to be alone, then--"

"It's the worst thing for him." Jack got to his feet and pulled out his keys before shrugging into the black leather jacket that had been slung over the chair. "The last thing he needs is to be stewing alone." He made sure that the keys to Daniel's lab and apartment were still on his key ring. "Trust me."

"But sir!" Sam almost stood up at that. "You can't invade his privacy like that!"

"Watch me."

Before Sam could get up, Teal'c reached out and touched her arm, gripping it tightly to keep her from following and confronting Jack. "O'Neill is correct, Major Carter," he said quietly as Jack glared at them both before stalking off. "He and DanielJackson shared similar experiences on PJ7-989, while you and I were merely observers of their misery. O'Neill will know what DanielJackson needs."

Sam gave Teal'c's hand a squeeze, and a reassuring smile. "I hope you're right, Teal'c."

\- = - = -

Jack used his cell to call the Mountain. "And you're sure he's gone," he demanded of the young man who answered.

The PFC manning the booth checked his clipboard. "Yes, sir, Colonel. Dr. Jackson signed out not five minutes after Major Carter."

"Right. Thanks." Jack hung up with one hand and cranked the truck with the other. He snarled at a red convertible who had inadvertently boxed him in waiting for a parking space, and pulled out of the parking lot, wheels spinning and horn blowing.

It was too easy for Jack to dial Daniel's number as he drove, and Jack drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

Daniel's voice sounded entirely too chipper on the answering machine. "This is Daniel Jackson, and I'm not available. Leave a message unless you're Jack O'Neill, in which case, I'm not home so don't bother coming by." 

A growl as the machine beeped. "Daniel, it's Jack. I know you're there, pick up." A pause. "Get up, get a shower, and get dressed. I'm--"

The machine cut him off. He contemplated calling back, but instead just tossed the phone on the seat beside him and pushed the truck faster.

\- = - = - 

The driveway outside Daniel's building was fairly empty, and Jack pulled in beside Daniel's little car. He climbed up the stairs, keys in hand. His fist pounded the door and he shouted. "Daniel!! I know you're in there, open up!!"

There was absolutely no response, and Jack pounded several more ties. When the silence persisted, Jack used his key and entered Daniel's home. "Danny!!"

Still no answer, and the whole place was dark. Jack locked the door behind himself as he looked around. "Daniel!"

The patio was dark, but Jack could see the dull glint of Daniel's glasses through the sliding door. He moved quietly through the living room, knowing Daniel knew he was there, and opened the sliding glass doors. 

Daniel was sitting with his back to the balcony, feet flat on the cement and staring into the house. Jack sighed and lowered himself to the concrete across from Daniel. "Hey."

No answer.

"Think somebody got their wires crossed, cause you're not where you're supposed to be," Jack continued, wincing as he got comfortable on the cool surface. "Miss your ride with Carter and Teal'c?"

"Didn't you get the message on the machine?" Daniel's expression didn't change but his eyes flickered towards Jack.

"Yeah, I got that. I'm honored to merit a mention on your machine," Jack answered. "But I'm also a little disappointed that you don't know me better than that by now--that was just the invitation I was looking for."

"Why are you here, Jack?" Daniel shifted his gaze completely until it rested on Jack. "Go back to Sam and Teal'c."

Jack shook his head. "Made reservations for four, Danny. Can't--"

"Don't call me that," Daniel interrupted vehemently.

"Okay." Jack leaned back against the glass door, studying Daniel. His own pain, that was one thing. He'd made his peace with it years ago, and while it hadn't hurt any less to see it shoved in his face, over and over and over again… it had somehow become muted by the acceptance of the fact that sometimes, people died when they were in the military, and Jack couldn't stop it. 

Daniel's, on the other hand, was something that Jack couldn't *stand.* Because Daniel had lost so much already; his life on Abydos; his family; Shau're. He had known Daniel's parents were dead, because he'd known that Daniel had been raised by foster parents. 

He hadn't known the details, and seeing the shattered look in Daniel's eyes when the Gamekeeper inflicted the recreations upon him… in that moment, Jack could have cheerfully mowed the son of a bitch down where he'd stood. He was angry, with the universe, because out of all the billions of people and creatures in existence, they seemed determined to make Daniel Jackson miserable. And in Jack's opinion, Daniel was the least deserving of that misery.

"It was a mission, back in the early 80s. Before the Berlin Wall fell. We'd gone to retrieve an operative, and the intel was all wrong. Kawalsky got shot… my CO, John… died while I was trying to save him. I hauled him back behind a wagon for cover, but it was already too late. His last words were for me to look after Barbara, his wife. They'd only been married a couple of years."

"Had to be hard," Daniel answered listlessly.

"Worst mission I'd been on. I was a captain… first time I'd ever lost a friend, miserable as--"

"I got it," Daniel interrupted.

A quiet pause, and Jack watched Daniel carefully. "Carter told me about your parents."

"Good for her." Daniel leaned his head back against one of the stone pillars of his railing, closing his eyes as the cool breeze buffeted his face and hair. "So thrilled she can share my pain with you, Jack." Sarcasm, but that was it.

"I can relate," Jack answered softly. "Wondering if…" He trailed off; no need to mention anything else. "You're not alone unless you want to be, Daniel."

"I want to be," Daniel snapped, wrapping his arms around himself.

Jack got up and moved across the balcony, sitting beside Daniel. So close their shoulders were touching, Jack looked at his clasped hands as they dangled between his knees.

And when Daniel started crying, Jack put his arms around Daniel's shoulders and held him close as he shook. His heart went out to Daniel, and he just tucked his friend's head under his chin. The silent sobs tore at him, knowing Daniel was falling apart but hearing _nothing_. "You're not alone," Jack repeated again, the only thing he could think to offer for reassurance.

Because no, it _wasn't_ going to be okay. Daniel had _every_ reason to cry if he wanted to, and no, for once, Daniel _didn't_ have to be strong. 

He just held Daniel to him, murmuring reassuringly until the shaking stopped.

"I watched it, Jack. When it happened. I was… I was just a kid. I didn't know what the creaking chain meant. I just… I watched as this huge chunk of rock fell down and crushed my whole world." Daniel's voice was quiet, like the little boy he must have been then. "I didn't know that I could have done anything. And by the time I was old enough, I already had enough regrets to fill a lifetime."

Jack just squeezed Daniel's shoulders tightly again. "C'mon. Let it out."

"Dad… he called me Danny. Like you do. And hearing that again, after so long… my Dad's voice… it was miserable, Jack. I couldn't… I couldn't do anything to stop it. My dad, my mom… they remind me so much of _me_ and you, because did you hear? I told my mom that… that I broke my leg, so that she'd come out and look at me and not die, and she told me that it couldn't be broken because I was walking on it. And Jack… that was _her_ but it was _you_ because _that's_ what you sound like."

"I sound like your mother. Thanks." Jack tried to infuse it with as much sarcasm as he could muster, but he _couldn't_ do it. It was physically disturbing to see Daniel in that much pain, and he just held him closer.

"No, that's not it. You don't get it." Daniel's grip tightened on Jack's forearms. "You love me, Jack. And I love you. I couldn't… I couldn't do anything to protect _them_ , no matter how much I loved them, but I can protect you. You, and Sam, and Teal'c. You are my family." More tightening of his grip, and Daniel's knuckles were white. "Especially you, Jack."

"I know, Daniel." He just tucked Daniel's head back under his chin when the silent sobs started again. It was killing Jack, the silence that meant Daniel didn't want to share the misery with him. He just held Daniel tightly, rocking just a little bit there on the balcony until the shuddering slowly died down. 

He tilted his head to look back, and foggy glasses hiding sleepy eyes met him. Smiling gently, Jack pulled off Daniel's glasses and tucked them into his shirt pocket. He got to his feet, and held out his hand to Daniel. Daniel took it, and Jack pulled him easily to his feet. "C'mon, cowboy. Let's get you in bed." He opened the sliding glass doors again, and started to carefully lead Daniel inside.

Daniel shuffled behind Jack, shaking his head and barely cracking his eyes open enough to see where they were walking. "S'ry I messed up th' reservations tonight," he mumbled tiredly. 

"S'okay," Jack answered, guiding Daniel up the steps leading to the bedroom. "Some things come first, like family." He moved Daniel to sit on the side of the bed, and took off the brown loafers that Daniel had somehow shoved his feet into. He helped Daniel lay down, and then when he went to pull the blanket up, he felt Daniel tugging on his arm. 

Not wanting to leave Daniel alone after promising earlier that he didn't have to be, Jack pulled off his leather jacket and tossed it over the foot of the bed. After kicking off his shoes, Jack crawled into bed beside Daniel, back to the headboard as his feet rested on the bed. 

Daniel snuggled against him, head resting on Jack's shoulder. "Jack?" he muttered sleepily. 

"Yeah?" He pushed Daniel's hair out of his face, and got another glimpse of sleep-closed eyes and a tired little smile.

"Thanks." He cracked his eyes open as he looked up from Jack's shoulder, eyes blurry without his glasses. "For not leaving me alone."

Jack just squeezed Daniel tightly, and lightly pressed his lips to the top of Daniel's head. "I told you, Danny. You don't have to be alone anymore."

The End


End file.
